road-348544_1280

Coming into 2015

We’ve just entered a brand new year.  It’s always a time of optimism and hope for the upcoming year to start.  New plans, new dreams, new goals.  In with the new and out with the old and all that.  But what about what remains?  We all have carry overs from the previous year, it’s impossible not to.  Bills, situations, projects, thought processes and other things don’t just disappear because it’s a new year, they just roll over into the next one.  As we move into 2015, I wonder what I will be bringing into the new year and what I will be leaving behind.

Living in Fear

One of the biggest things that I want to leave behind is the fear that I have worn like a well worn cloak for the last year and a half; ever since my diagnosis.  It engulfed me and completely controlled my emotions and my being for what seems like eternity.  At the time I wasn’t sure how I would ever move away from it.  As it turns out, time has helped.  Moving through this journey has been in many ways like walking through a swamp.  I have felt like I was sinking, I felt like I was being consumed and I felt that there was no escape.  Fear permeated my body and soul and affected how I interacted with others and with myself.

Building Faith

Time is a great healer.  There was a time when I didn’t think that I could ever live a day without being engulfed in fear for my life.  I know now that I can.  I have been busy building my faith muscles for months now.  I try to exchange fear for faith when it arises.  It’s not always easy, but I have learned that it is so essential.  How do you replace fear with faith you might ask?  Good question, since I really had no idea how to even begin the process, but that is the key, to begin.

Keys to Building your Faith Muscle

I decided more than a few months ago that no matter what I couldn’t continue to live thinking about death and disease.  My focus since my diagnosis has been on research and discovering ways to heal naturally.  Reading about cancer can be very disheartening and negative and scary as hell.  The information out there is exhaustive and from so many different viewpoints that it can be very confusing.  It would probably have been easier for me had I not been such an information junkie, but alas I can’t change who I am. Nevertheless, the continuous reading and research eventually gave me faith where there was only fear.  The reason being is that I started looking at where the information was coming from and started reading uplifting and positive accounts of people with cancer that cured themselves.  I realized through my learning that my very emotions and thoughts control how my immune system works and that if I really wanted to get rid of the fear overtaking my life then I had to trump it with more faith.  Faith in a higher power, faith in my body’s healing capacities and faith in natural medicine.  I can’t say that I am completely fearless about cancer right now, but I do have more faith than fear and that is a good thing that I can build on in 2015.